2022: Are You Being Kind To You?
I know only too well the pressure that clients put on themselves to perform miraculous transformations within their personal and professional lives once we find ourselves in the new year. While I welcome self-improvement and the need to set and reach our goals, I also encourage balance and healthy expectations – which leads me to ask, ‘are you being kind to you?’
A common theme is the need to reverse all that weight gain that happens over the festive period, which of course is healthy and totally understandable – but are you doing this by cutting out meals, exercising excessively and berating yourself when you haven’t dropped 2 dress sizes within the first week of ‘healthy’ eating? How many of us are currently being cruel to our reflection, or welcome their mean inner critic every time their jeans don’t quite do up? Be honest, have you taken responsible steps to look at how much water you are drinking, how much green food you are eating, and are you moving in a way that doesn’t stress your body and your mind? Most importantly are you understanding that Rome wasn’t built in a day and that true results demand consistency and time (boring, but true).
Steps you can take to support health goals is to educate yourself about nutrition, plan your food shop so you are only picking up good nutritious options and also set yourself goals to learn a new recipe a week that supports this new regime. You can also download apps like Noom that keep you on the straight and narrow as you have to log not only your daily meals but also your movement and daily weight, while also committing a portion of your time to educating yourself on the psychology of our eating habits.
If budget allows, enlist the help of a personal trainer, and be clear on your personal goals. If money is an issue, then see if there is anything you enjoy on YouTube or even Instagram – some of my favourite Hiit workouts were found during lockdown when the gyms were closed and I sought social media guidance. They can also be performed within very little space, with no equipment and will cost you nothing other than your time – you may even find a couple of people to drool over in the name of self-care. Win win.
We know that January is naturally one of the biggest times for divorce lawyers and recruitment companies. People have spent either too much time closed in with someone you can no longer bear to be with or have spent a period away from work or had some time to reflect on if they are truly happy. The thing that both these avenues have in common is that they are both big decisions (marriage probably more so 😉) and both can take time to change, adjust, and come to terms with.
In both cases, I would advise not having such a trigger finger. Emotions run high at this time of year. Christmas; financial, social, family and deadline pressures can all contribute to confusion over your mental status regarding both things. You may want to see if you can handle a few more weeks of sitting within those emotions during the normality of January and February before making any snap decisions or doing anything that you may later regret.
From a relationship point of view, it might be time to have frank conversations you’ve not been brave enough to have before, maybe relationship counselling, or even time to think about what you would lose by not having the other person in your life. However, if this relationship is clearly dead in the water, then this is a time to get your ducks in a row regarding financial independence and what it might look and feel like to go it alone. Whatever, the position you might find yourself in, just take your time and honour yourself in the pursuit of your happiness – I want you to be moving from a position of peace and honesty over conflict and fear.
It may also be helpful to speak to a friend who sits outside of this situation that you trust implicitly, or consult a divorce coach – they can offer pragmatic, sensible advice without charging the craziness of solicitors fees. They may also coach you into the headspace that this is something worth saving given some support or advise you how best to start painful, constructive conversations. The fact of the matter is whatever any of us have to face, we never have to do it alone.
When it’s the career path that is getting you down, I would advise that you really sit in your feelings regarding what to do next. There are many things to consider, and I would like you to brainstorm around a couple of these things. What would your ideal environment look like? What would be your ideal salary? What would the company environment and ethos feel like? Would you be happier working alone or within a team? Once you have done this and have got really clear on the direction you want to go in, and what will make you feel most fulfilled, this will inform who to contact and where to go next.
When it comes to bringing in new opportunities I would also speak to your nearest and dearest about not only what they would imagine you doing next but also if they have any tried and trusted recruitment contacts or indeed can put the feelers out in your chosen field to create exciting openings for you.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of the new year - ask yourself what areas could you give yourself more time or breathing space. Hard relationships, difficult emotions and internal conflict will wear your battery life down far quicker than any 10k run. What steps can you take in your life to protect yourself and protect your energy? Perhaps a personal goal is to learn the art of saying a big fat NO to things, people and situations that no longer serve you and make you happy. If this is the case what steps are you taking to keep yourself on the straight and narrow? I understand only too well how hard this can be but it all starts with you. I want to remind you that today and for every day of this year, that you are in the driving seat.
Perhaps you are facing lots of personal decisions and need some hand holding to get you there, which is something the right coach can assist you with. I highly recommend everyone finding someone who can help you build some life structure, give you tools to create healthy habits, and not only someone you can be accountable to, but someone that builds you up and reminds you of your power. This is the beauty of working with a coach – they see your ability and potential, even when you don’t. Don’t spend the beginning of 2022 in a hole when there are hands willing and able to pull you towards self-love and light.
I am asking all my clients to make their self-care their main focus this month. January and February are famous for being the dreariest of months, the hangover from Christmas and New Year overindulgence, and the time of year we have the most self-doubt. The best combat to indecision, indifference and poor self-esteem is self-care and prioritising our self-love over everything. I ask you all to think of one thing you can do in honour of your self-care – perhaps it’s getting into bed earlier, perhaps its less alcohol, or more gym time – whatever it is find something that bring you joy and makes sense to you. 2022 is here people, give yourself a break, it’s time to be kind to you!