A Year Of Growing Pains
A year that probably looked unremarkable from the outside but on the inside I experienced radical growth. For all the lessons, I also experienced the truest friendships. For all the moments where I felt like I’d lost something, I found something new I didn’t realise I was looking for. For all the tricky bits, there was a huge amount of medicinal laughter. It was a year of growing pains.
This was a year I learnt that growth is a series of quiet wins, only necessary for you and your closest to hear. That confidence isn’t flashy Instagram posts or grandiose announcements but how you truly see yourself through your own eyes. This was a year I chose to dig deeper on personal growth, focus on healing and understanding myself and my worth a lot better.
At times I had to really fight for my mental health, and it wasn’t easy, at times it was heartbreaking, but thankfully I got there . . . I’m far from perfect and I’m always a work in progress, like all of us, but I am also really proud of the strong foundation I’ve built for 2023 I’m looking forward to what I hope will be a magical year for all of us.
These are some of the things I learned and I hope they help you see perhaps some situations of your own through a different lense. I hope they inspire you to come up with some values or boundaries of your own.
(Let me know if you have a favourite 😉)
The moment you have to sacrifice parts of your personality to appease or walk on egg shells, you’ve self sabotaged your growth.
Make more room for you to be you.
Prioritise your sleep and watch all areas of your life improve.
Don’t put your hope in other people changing so that you can get closure and heal.
We never truly know what someone is going through, even when we think we do . . . even when we are certain. This is also true in reverse, so have patience when the people around you don’t understand the phase you’re currently in. Remember that even if you explain it, people tend to only have a perspective from personal experience. And that’s ok.
You don’t ever have to accept being treated badly. You honestly don’t deserve it. Nobody does.
Manifest, yes. But also remember to practise gratitude for what you already have.
Grief is grieving as many times as you come into contact with your triggers of loss. There’s no timeline.
An energy detox is just as essential as an alcohol detox. Maybe even more essential. Do both.
Your vitality and beauty has nothing to do with your age and looks, and everything to do with how you think, carry yourself and the mark you leave on the room.
Keep yourself hydrated through self care so that you’re never so thirsty that you will drink from any cup offered.
Being seen, safe, understood, heard, valued and respected are basic human needs.
When you’re feeling unsafe go to ground. You can always trust your own energy, always trust your own heart and always trust your own intentions.
Staying home and saying no can work wonders for your self esteem and self connection.
Feeling comfortable in your own skin will bring more joy to your life than any relationship ever will.
People will hurt you. Stay soft. Don’t let the actions of others make you hard or make you mirror their behaviour.
Karma tends to do the job for you. Protect your peace.
It’s ok to be sad. Be sad as long as you need to be, but then make a conscious choice to offer yourself a new perspective.
Your tribe is a collaborative effort. Cherish each other. Together you can get through anything.
Good people sometimes make poor judgments. They are still good people. It’s often through our mistakes that we need to be loved hardest.
Your happiness is your responsibility.
What other people think of you really doesn’t matter when you are solid in self knowledge. You know who you are.
The more you allow yourself to feel your feelings, the easier it becomes to understand them and self soothe.
Forgive yourself for the things you chased when you were disconnected from your mind, heart and body.
Go to therapy.
Raise the bar on who has access to you and your innermost thoughts.
To get good at choosing peace you also have to get good at saying goodbyes.
If you’re intent on having vices make sure you have plenty of virtues.
If nothing changes, nothing changes. It’s a cliche but it’s true.
Never downgrade with anything, it will never work out. Ultimately the universe hates it for you, knows your worth, and wants better for you. Invariably, these people/things, get removed, because they are simply not meant for you. Even if it hurts or you maybe can’t see it at the time, it’s a blessing. That applies to romantic relationships, friends, career and self talk.
My goal for 2023 is calm not chaos, peace not parties and health not hedonism.
Release yourself from unfair expectations and you will find liberation.
Not all things end how we would like or even well. Hold on to the fact that everything happens for a reason and that everything is a phase. Phases pass.
The only thing we can be certain of is change.
Always show a willingness to learn. An enquiring inquisitive mind will keep you current, informed and more youthful than any day cream.
Most of the time people don’t want your advice. They just want to feel less alone in whatever they might be experiencing.
Sometimes having a little patience goes a long way in receiving what you truly deserve
You have limits. It’s ok to communicate them
Placing boundaries can also apply to people that harm you without bad intention. Just because the bad intention may not have been there, doesn’t mean they didn’t hurt you.
Remember to smile. Remember you have the ability to light up rooms.
Happy New Year to all of you, please remember when the clock strikes midnight just how far you’ve come, remember how loved you are, and remember all the beautiful things you have to look forward to in 2023. X