Cutting out toxic behaviours for good and finding your self love.
Breaking bad habits, letting go of toxic behaviour and toxic relationships can take a lot of work and a lot of discipline and is rarely done on pure willpower alone.
Hopefully you’re past the point where nostalgia has given you rose tinted views, you can see these behaviours and situations for exactly what they are and you have reached a point where you really genuinely want to make changes in your life. So let’s chuck everything at it and let’s go help you get to where you want to be..
First of all, start something new. This could be a new skill, a vocation that puts you in a different environment, or take up a hobby or a language. This increases BDNF, which is a protein that controls and promotes the growth of new neutral connections, quite literally taking your mind off it. This will enable your brain to change more effectively. Clever stuff!
Change your thought pattern. Every time you start to ruminate and think about that person or bad habit, replace the thought with something positive you would like to introduce to your life. For example, if you are giving up alcohol, don’t replace it with sugar, instead increase your water intake or replace it with anything that is good for you. Therefore thinking of something negative can trigger a cue for something positive. This process of dismantling the thought pattern, will mean a shift in mindset and will enable you to prioritise yourself higher so that it starts becoming all about you and ultimately your wellbeing.
Self care will play an enormous part in your healing journey so make sure you are sleeping, eating, moving, being in nature, meditating, talking and finding joy in the small things that are entirely for you. Take yourself out on long walks, listen to podcasts, or music that makes you happy. Throw everything you can at your personal wellness.
Visualisation and gratitude. Wake up every day and remind yourself of what you are gaining by making better choices or by going without that habit/person/thought process. Think about how much better your life is without it. Do this every day until it becomes ingrained. Remember who you are, remember who you were before you took this metaphorical hit, even if it feels as if that person is long ago and distant, they are still in there and you can and will come home to yourself.
Look at supplements to increase your self care. For example 5HTP supplement for serotonin will boost your mood. You may want to take a look at sleep boosting supplements too if your sleep has been disrupted by anxiety and change. Vit C and multi vitamin to boost your immunity as stress can play havoc with our physical health. If supplements aren’t your thing then really look at the nutritional value of the food your buying as our gut health can also be a supportive foundation when we are going through a difficult time.
Be honest. Be honest with yourself as well as your support group. Your support group could be your therapist, coach, family or understanding friends. It is only when you are really honest and clear that people are able to offer you their true support and trust in the healing process. So whatever it might look like, even if it makes you feel deep shame or hugely uncomfortable, get it all out so you don’t have to carry it alone.
Remember this is not always a straight line. There will be days you do great and days you feel you’ve fallen down. It’s ok. I think if we can wake up every day and make a choice to be the best we can be, with the best of intentions, then something will start to shift. Wipe the slate clean and start again. Let go of attachment to the past and attachment to the future (it doesn’t matter) and just focus on the day in hand. If you fall short for whatever reason, let it go, without judgement, and start again the following day.
You have already conquered 100% of your toughest days, so I promise you that this mindset will help you to eventually win. Taking the decision to make a change is an important day, because it is the day you begin to realise your self worth - its the day that you realise that you are enough and the love you have for yourself is the strongest love there is.