Hormonal monsters and how to manage them
When you consider all the women in your life, I’m guessing the age range of the sisterhood will be broad ranging and important to you and every stage requires thought and appreciation when it comes to hormones.
The hormonal changes our mothers weathered without much complaint, and without much information. The time you were heavily pregnant attempting the food shop or the commute on the tube when you just wanted to curl up. The teenage girl with bad hair dye and questionable make up choices experiencing crippling period pain that also seemed to bring a flurry of self-doubt and self-consciousness.
Perhaps you remember rows with an older sister or in fact a daughter that resulted in an outpouring of rage, door slamming and mass confusion. Maybe you have experienced increases in anxiety and isolation yourself, feeling you’re a hair-triggers moment away from exploding uncontrollably. You could be the partner to a wife/girlfriend that would seemingly cry over nothing, leaving you confused and useless.
Male or female we are all effected at some stage in our lives by these pesky hormonal outbursts, (this is not just a female problem) but how many of us talk about it or take time to understand it?
This week I have been working with my dear friend Dr Mayoni, Founder and all-round genius at Human Health clinic. Mayoni and I have worked together for many years and in various capacities and I hugely admire the light she shines for men and women on subjects that as a society are viewed as slightly taboo. This week the focus was hormones and what support is available to us – from HRT to the more holistic approach like simply treating yourself with kindness and understanding.
As humans we go through a lot when it comes to hormones and the chemical imbalance we experience through different stages of our lives – mood swings, changes in appetite, weight fluctuation, fatigue, migraines, depression, anxiety to name just a few irritable side effects. Hormones often have a negative effect on our behaviour and challenge our general emotional wellbeing, but how do we understand them better and bring more balance to our lives for ourselves and the people closest to us?
In short, hormones are simply chemicals that carry messages around our body controlling function and overall health. They control our basic functions; eating and sleeping, our more complex functions; sexual desire and reproduction, and also mood and emotions.
Women have two major reproductive hormones that control their fertility and cycles – oestrogen and progesterone. Then there are other hormones that regulate chemicals in our body. Where the imbalance takes place is when one or more hormones are working overtime at different stages in our lives, and the brain sometimes overcompensates by producing fewer of other hormones that effect and regulate our emotions, such as serotonin and endorphins.
During puberty the development of oestrogen and the fact their brains are still developing means that teenagers have a tough time controlling their impulses. During pregnancy and breastfeeding we experience more hormonal changes than at any other time, which can again make women feel emotionally unwell, less in control of their emotions, and very isolated often resulting in postpartum depression. Then once we reach the lead up to menopause and the menopause itself it’s another time to readjust to changes in hormone levels, and deal with the loss of our fertility. In short, not a walk in the park at any stage and everyone experiences this differently.
If you are struggling know that there is help out there. Mayoni’s clinic, Human Health, is doing wonderful things with a whole host of people you can lean on from various viewpoints. Not only does Mayoni provide medical advice from a hormonal balance point of view, but she has coaches that cover everything from your nutrition to your mental wellness through self-care and compassion.
My top tips for coping with whatever struggles you are having regarding hormones are:
Be kind. This one sounds obvious but actually it’s sometimes the last thing we consider in the heat of the moment. This is not just about being kind to ourselves but kind to our partners too. They can’t possibly have any idea of what we are going through unless we communicate. Hormone fluctuation has an impact on not just you but the people that love you and are close to you. So, try and remember to be kind in the midst of their confusion too.
Communication. Hopefully if you are going through a significant change this is something that you should be able to share with your partner. When we let the drawbridge down and share our vulnerabilities with others, we in turn invite them to be vulnerable too. This could be the perfect time to connect on not just hormonal challenges but all things dear to you and to start some brave and important conversations for all involved.
Community. This is a time to connect with your tribe and find similar souls going through similar life trials. As humans we need connection to survive and finding a support group can be similar to group therapy and help life you in times of confusion and change. Human Health and life coaching has been a fantastic leveller. We all need to feel loved, seen and supported. Marvellous things happen when we lift each other up.
Self-care. When we are feeling out of sorts or in particular going through any type of life change self-care is key to keep at the forefront of our minds. It also doesn’t have to cost you a penny and it doesn’t even need to take too much of your time or headspace. It’s making sure you are getting enough sleep and watching your nutrition. Making sure we move our bodies and spend time enjoying exercise that resonates with us. Getting into nature and connecting with our souls or perhaps cutting back on alcohol. Finally, and most importantly banishing your inner critic and speaking to yourself kindly no matter what you might be going through that day.
Opportunity. This is a time to find yourself and be the best you can be with a wealth of knowledge and expertise. When we start investigating problems, we find solutions. If it is menopause you are struggling with, by this time in your life, you are at your most powerful and probably most successful in regard to disposable income. You are informed and know that support is out there. You are now coming at this with a wealth of life experience and wisdom, and you should not be intimidated by this new phase. It’s time to reframe the norm. This isn’t a death this is a rebirth.
It is only when we discuss these things human to human that we can not only remove the stigma that this is just a ‘female hysteria’ problem but start to normalise and help people feel better. We as a society need to work harder to remove the confusion, isolation and guilt so that we can know ourselves better and therefore give ourselves the permission to ask for better – from our medical support, from the people that loves us and from ourselves in our understanding.