Your Tribe Influences Your Vibe
They say that we are the sum of the 5 people we spend most time with. The people we hang out with, the people we speak to on a daily basis, the people we share our most innermost thoughts and dreams with. When you look at your famous five are you happy with the energy you are immersing yourself in? Or are there changes that you need to make?
Our tribe is so integral to how we lead our lives. It can influence our happiness, our ambition our sense of worth. If we get the balance of the tribe right, then we can move mountains – if we get it wrong it can have a disastrous effect.
We all have that person we can think of that we feel good after spending time with, their energy is uplifting, safe or electric, and we can all think of that person that we leave feeling less than, perhaps unsafe, or instinctively you know they do not have your back and maybe an ulterior motive. These people are in two camps: drains and radiators.
I went to watch Steven Barlett talk on Tuesday night as part of his Diary of a CEO tour. Many things he said really stuck with me. As humans we are designed to roll with a tribe – that saying, ‘it takes a village . . . ’ exists for a reason. We remind each other of our worth, we check in, we make sure the people we care about have enough and feel supported. Without our tribe we can feel isolated and lonely. Studies have found that if you feel consistently lonely, you are 47% more likely to die early. Why is that? Well, to feel lonely is to feel anxious and unsafe which means our nervous system is fired up and puts pressure on our mental and physical health. We as humans need connection, we need each other, not just for our mental wellbeing but for our physical health too.
Last Monday night I was coincidentally put together with a very special group of people, some of which I was meeting for the very first time that evening, but our commonality was that our energy was right. We instinctively knew we had shared values, similar hearts and the same objective and protective love and care for each other. No egos, no drama, nothing inauthentic apart from the joy of the shared experience. This group left me feeling soul confirmed and happy. I felt aligned with my tribe.
Who are your five and what do they provide to your life and why are they important to you? As we get older, we are surrounded by less family, less elders, less teachers, as we are forced to grow and forge our own paths. Your caregivers become less, so the encouraging words of affirmation become less, the words of pride become less, which is where having a strong tribe comes in. Self-belief is always key too, but so is the support of people that love and understand us.
I have people in my tribe I can be silly with, I have people that know the bones of me and my life history, I have people I can have deeply spiritual conversations with, I have people that may not have known me long, but they honour who I am right now in this phase of my life. They are all important to me. They all provide a different cushion from the elements in this tough challenge called life.
Steven also discussed an episode of his podcast with a nurse that had interviewed people towards the end of their palliative care and the one thing they all had in common is that they said, ‘they wished they had lived a life true to themselves.’ It’s a powerful perspective. This is a reminder that your energy and your power is important and precious. Life is too short to spend it with people that don’t reciprocate your energy or the love you give out.
Your five should have the best of intentions for you, you should feel loved and supported, and if you don’t, feel free to swap your famous five out for people that resonate and vibrate on the same level as you.